Monochrome
by Empress Empoleon
Summary: Splatter your colors all over me. / James, Lily, and a whole white future as their canvas.


James Potter walked through the long hospital hallway impatiently, trying to find the correct room.

_Room 280...281...282...Room 283. _He knocked on the door lightly.

"Come in!" A female Healer opened the door and led the young man inside. "Are you...Mr. Potter?"

"Yes ma'am," James said politely, standing straight and tall. He wanted to look as professional as he possibly could.

"I take it that you're my new intern. Is that so?"

"It is so, ma'am."

"And _why _do you want to help out at St. Mungo's for the summer?"

_Because I want a quick money fix and this was the easiest option available. _"Because I want to help others become healthy again, ma'am."

The woman smiled, ticking something off on her clipboard. She then moved aside to show James someone.

There was a girl-about his age, from the looks of it-lying on a typical white hospital bed. She was the only patient, oddly, in the wide room. The only sound was the heart monitor, beeping steadily, and the only light was the sunlight, shining in through the one wide window on the far wall and onto the girl.

"This is Lily Evans. We accepted her almost six years ago," the doctor began. James never looked away from Lily. "She has some kind of unknown ailment. We thought at first that it was Scrofungulus, but the disease has so far not been contagious and she doesn't seem to have typical symptoms."

James nodded. "So you're still trying to figure out what she has?"

The doctor sighed, glancing at Lily. "Sadly, yes. She remains a medical mystery."

James did not like the way the doctor referred to her as merely a "mystery". She was a human too, just like them!

"I want you to keep an eye on her," the doctor nonchalantly said. "We need to keep watching her to see if she makes progress. However, I have more important things to attend to."

James' fists clenched. _All_ the patients were important! Who did this doctor think she was?

He hadn't really come here to help people-but he was pretty sure he'd do a better job at it than _this _old fag.

"Record everything in the logbook. Lunch will be served in the cafeteria at noon. Someone else will take over at three." With that, the doctor sharply left the room, the door closing and leaving James all alone in the sunny room with the patient.

"Right. Let's do this," James thought aloud, grabbing a nearby stool and pulling it up next to the girl's bed. He pulled out a pen, and in the fresh logbook, he recorded the girl's information.

* * *

At nine sharp, Lily opened her eyes.

James was gazing at the window, his fingers tapping furiously on his knees-he was _bored, _dammit-when he finally noticed. She had just quietly woken up, not making any noise or giving any kind of signal.

"Hullo. You're Lily Evans. I'm James Potter," James awkwardly introduced.

Lily didn't answer for a while. She just sat up and stared at the ceiling for a while-in fact, she seemed to be particularly interested in a certain crack. James wasn't sure if she had heard him, so he tried again.

"I'm James Po-"

"Oh, I heard you," she interrupted. Her voice sounded light, but distant. "I just didn't think it was worthwhile to answer."

James didn't know what to say back to that, so he settled for saying nothing at all.

* * *

James was back the next day, right on time. She woke up at exactly the same time-and noticed him sitting by her bed, writing furiously in the logbook.

She didn't say anything again, folding her fingers over her lap and looking out the window. She saw a cheerful sun, busy people, a bustling street.

Oh, how she wished that she could be one of those frazzled teenagers pushing past people, reading on the steps of a building, or sipping coffee with a new friend.

But no, she would forever be stuck in a white room, with a black past and a white future and no color at all.

* * *

Two weeks later, Lily woke up (again, at nine, as she always did) to find as she had been lately, a busy James watching her and scribbling notes into the logbook.

"You're still here," she finally said, looking at him with her ever wide and curious eyes.

James looked up, and smiled. "Yeah. It's my job, right?"

Lily's very small smile morphed into a frown. She was only another job to him, another patient he'd watch through the course of his day.

"Why do you ask?" he continued, urging her to keep speaking. This was the first time she had talked to him in days. "You usually don't say much at all."

Lily turned towards him, her eyes searching him. "Usually, they don't stay this long."

"Oh," James managed. This girl was a little too..._melancholic_ for his taste.

* * *

It was only the next day when Lily talked again.

"You'll be staying...for a while?"

James nodded. "Yeah, for the summer."

Lily sighed, looking away. Nobody stayed long enough.

Her life was a moving train, people getting on and off constantly, staying just long enough for her to grow attached, but leaving too quickly for them to know her.

* * *

James sat there, staring at the redhead who was always there. It had been almost three weeks, and she had only spoken a handful of sentences in between.

"Do you not like to talk?" he asked curiously. "I've never seen anyone so quiet."

Lily laughed dryly. "What's there to talk about? Every day here is the same."

That was when James knew _why _she acted so _distant_-there was no vibrancy to speak of.

Her life consisted of white walls, white bed sheets, white lab coats, and white futures.

James would be the one to splash colors all over her walls and _her._

"Well, if you have nothing to say, then I'll talk." Thus James began talking like he never had before. He covered his home, his parents, his friends, Hogwarts-everything.

She was a great listener. Nobody ever stopped long enough to say more than a few words-most didn't even come to talk to her. They just stood from afar and mumbled scientific terminology that was supposed to represent her.

She found him _interesting. _His life at Hogwarts, his friends, his professors...things she'd never get to experience.

"I'll be going back for my seventh year in September. It'll be great, I'll tell you..."

Lily found herself wishing that he would _never _close his mouth.

* * *

"You're probably really bored now. I should let you rest-"

"No. Don't stop. Keep talking."

His words were what kept her fragile life hanging together.

* * *

It was only a week later, yet the two had grown so much closer. James now woke up every morning, eager to see her, eager to talk to her.

Lily was already waiting for him when he burst through the door. He would plop down on the stool and begin rambling a mile a minute about all sorts of things.

She talked now too, so much more than before-she would tell him of her old home, her old friends. She would tell him of hospital gossip that she overheard.

They would laugh together.

* * *

"You've been doing a good job of watching her."

James' fists shook under the table. Oh, how he _hated _his boss.

All Lily would ever be to her was an interesting specimen; a mere _object. _

She didn't know Lily like he did. She would never know how her nose crinkled when she laughed (rarely, but his stories of them making fun of Severus did) or how she wished every day that she could break out, get healthy, jump out the sunny window and onto the street below.

She would never know that Lily dreamed of a future that was colorful and far, far away from this _damn _hospital, where she was healthy and could go to school and learn magic like he did.

She would never know how much she really had to say.

Only James would, since he was the only one who bothered to stay and _listen _to the neglected girl.

"However, after some recent tests, we have found something odd." James, despite his dislike for the doctor, leaned in, eager to hear the information.

Could she be getting better? Was there hope of a rainbow future?

Most of her explanation sounded like gibberish to him-what would _he _know about anything?

However, one sentence jumped out at him.

"She only has about three months to live."

"What?!" James exclaimed, standing up and pushing his chair back. _Three months? Only three months?_

He thought that there would be a cure, that they had found something to help her. He thought that all those days of sitting and watching and _fantasizing _with her would finally lead to something.

This wasn't what he wanted. This wasn't what she wanted.

_This isn't what _we_ wanted._

* * *

It was already the first of July-and James, though he wanted to avoid it, eventually had to tell her of her present condition.

"Lily, you...you're only going to live for three more months."

He expected some kind of violent reaction-sobbing, screaming, thrashing. Instead, he was met with the old mute silence she used to have around him.

A smile graced her face. "Only that long, huh?"

James' breath hitched in his throat as he saw her smiling at him. He knew it was forced, that she was breaking inside, that all her dreams were crumbling around her. There would be no big, country house or baking brownies or counting stars on a grassy hill.

All that there would be was three months more in the white_white _room, knowing that no color would ever get to splash on her.

(James' heart broke that day.)

* * *

Lily was still smiling-and it scared James.

"Lily, why are you still smiling?" James asked. He knew that she didn't show her emotions were very easily, so it was _strange _for her to have her lips curled upward for almost two days.

Lily turned towards him, her grin never faltering. "I really don't think I will be able to again, if I stop now."

James' heart clenched. He wouldn't let this happen. He wouldn't let her go down like this.

He grabbed her cold, _cold _hand. Her jade eyes widened in shock, her smile fading slightly.

"No Lily. I'm still here. I'll make you smile. I'll make you laugh. I'll-I'll-" James paused.

"I'll make you _live._"

* * *

The next day, James brought in a chess board.

"James, what-oh!" Before Lily could say anything at all, James had lain the board on her lap, all the game pieces already set up.

"It's Wizard's Chess. Do you know how to play?" Lily shook her head, her eyes trained on the _black _pieces on her side. (So different from her whitewhite_white _life.)

"Let me teach you." His hand guided her's as he taught her the rules, the strategy.

The room was filled with excited _shouts _as one won and the other lost, and a new game would begin.

* * *

_Let's turn the tables-_

* * *

The next day he brought her some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

While she was apprehensive at first, she eventually warmed up to all of the unpredictable flavors and _colors _that the candy offered.

It was the variety her life lacked.

Lily was thankful for James knowing exactly what she needed.

* * *

_let's turn a new page-_

* * *

The next day he brought her some of his old textbooks.

"What's this?" she asked, knowing that it would probably be something she couldn't wait to see. He dumped a whole knapsack of books on her bed, and grinned toothily at her.

"Books. Of magic."

And the rest of the day, she read and read. She devoured the books of a world that she belonged in, but never would be a part of.

* * *

_let's clean a new slate-_

* * *

The next day, James brought in Sirius Black.

"Hey Lily, you know that friend I always tell you about? Sirius? Yeah, this is him."

For the first time in her life, Lily was welcome to a visitor. If James brought him, he must be good, was her reasoning.

And good he was. He and James were so alike; he was so nice and open to her from the beginning, and she warmed up to him relatively quickly.

The rest of the day was filled with so much laughter that the doctors began to wonder if this girl was the same Lily Evans that was admitted six years ago.

* * *

_let's begin again._

* * *

The next day, James finally showed her his wand. It was average sized and mahogany and Lily _loved _the smooth feeling of it in her fumbling fingers.

He flourished it, and sparks of _color _and _life _flew from it. They lit up her white room, her white self, her last, white month.

Lily didn't know what possessed her at the moment-maybe it was the colors, maybe it was the life, maybe it was _him._

Lily loved the sparks, and she wanted more.

"Thank you." She tugged James' wrist cuff, and he came flying down, his lips crashing onto her's painfully and passionately.

He broke away fast, panting with his heart beating rapidly, (and noticing that she smelled like lavender) but she grabbed his chin and brought him to her again, desperately. As James quickly began kissing her back, he realized just how much she really needed him.

_(The sparks flew, the life bloomed, the colors splattered.)_

* * *

Her last month with him was filled with talking and laughter and banter and _happiness. _She never wanted it to end. She almost began to _enjoy _sitting in that white bed, and having him color her any way he liked.

But all good things came to an end. It was the last day of August.

Tomorrow he'd leave and never come back. Tomorrow was the first day of her last month.

The beginning of the end.

The two were oddly quiet that day-they just didn't want to be the last one to say anything. But finally, James broke the silence, as he always did.

"Lily, I-I never thought I'd have so much fun at a hospital."

Lily laughed. "I already know you only came here for money."

James blushed. "That was so selfish of me. Now that I've spent my summer here, I kind of _want _to keep helping people get better."

Lily smiled. "That's nice." _He has a life ahead of him._

_I don't._

"Lily, this was the best summer I've ever had. I love spending time with you," he continued. "You're such a great friend."

Lily smiled sadly, tears openly spilling out of her eyes. "Y-you're my only friend."

James remained resolute, pulling her into a tight hug. She finally broke down, letting out all the emotions she had bottled up in her seventeen years.

Lily cried on his shoulder, her warm, salty tears wetting James' shirt. James clutched her back tightly, but when he shook and touched his forehead to her shoulder, she knew he was crying too.

They sobbed together that day.

* * *

It was almost closing time, and James had to leave for the last time.

"James, I-" She never got to finish what she was saying because James had pulled her into a frantic kiss, leaving her dizzy and out of breath.

He pressed a finger to her lips. "Don't say goodbye." His voice quivered, and she knew he was holding back tears. "Goodbye means leaving, and I'm definitely coming back."

"I won't be here to come back to," Lily said, and her last pillar came crashing down. Her saying it finally made her impending fate sound so _real, _even though they had tried so hard to avoid it the past month.

"No," James said. "No, you'll live, just like I taught you. You'll live, I'll come back, and I'll find a cure. Just you wait."

Lily smiled a broken smile. "Sure thing, James."

"Just know I love you."

"I love you too, Lily."

Lily watched James walk out the door for the last time.

_You'll live on forever in my heart._

* * *

Lily was dying-she knew it.

It was almost the end of her third month. It had been hell, having James ripped away-but she stayed strong, since she knew that was what he wanted.

Nowadays, it was harder for her to breathe-she took shallow gasps every few seconds. Her heart beat erratically. She mumbled insanely, scribbling the spectrum of colors over whitewhite_white _papers.

It was hard for her to wake up now from her deep sleeps. Waking up was painful.

It was much better to stay in her dreams, where everything was colorful and happy and James was still by her side.

So one day, she decided not to wake up, to _stay _in that multicolor world.

_I'll keep waiting for you, James._

* * *

There was a long beep as the line finally became straight on the heart monitor.

* * *

A letter dropped from an owl and into James' eggs. Fishing it out, the raven haired boy ripped open the envelope.

_We are sorry to inform you that Lily Evans has passed away._

His shoulders shook, and James for once couldn't control the onslaught of emotions that hit him. Before anyone but his friends could see him so vulnerable, he dashed from the Great Hall, and ran all the way up to his bedroom.

He ditched classes for the whole day. Everyone avoided him, even his best friends. Finally, Sirius came up to him.

"Is it...Lily?"

James buried himself farther into the pillows. He looked like a coward, but he didn't want anyone to see him like this.

"She'd want you to be strong. For her."

James sat up, wiping his bleary eyes. He sighed. "You're right, I just-"

Sirius held up a hand. "Sometimes...sometimes it's better to cry everything out." Sirius then left him alone again, and James bit his lip hard, making sure the tears wouldn't come again.

"I'll come and join you, Lily. Just you wait."

_I'll come and find you, and we'll live a colorful life together._

* * *

_We will live a rainbow, waiting until we can _

_make _

_the _

_world _

_ours._

* * *

A/N: I have too many feels now, I'm sorry.

_Done for:_

_Diagon Alley Fic Crawl Challenge-Madam Primpernelle's Beautifying Potions-Write something angsty._

_400 Fragrant Prompts Challenge_

_Romantics At Heart (Or Are We?) Competition-James/Lily_

_6 Senses Competition-Emotion (Helpless)_

_Greenhouses Competiton-Poppy (Write about dying.)_

_Hogwarts Classes Competition - Muggle Studies_


End file.
